People say,
"I would rather be alone rather than married to him,"
as if being alone is bad
but at least not as bad as being with him
When being alone
means cooking Gallo Pinto
while taking belts (that's what my mother calls it)
from a Jack Daniel's bottle
That ain't bad
That's the best
When you view it on a map
it looks so far away
but our apartment was mere steps from your front door
The trek to town was longer
but the view of the Reek was worth it
We toasted here and there and there
and tipped the best bartender
so that he could fill
the most enormous empty Powers Whiskey bottle
with all our loose change
There you are
that fatal moment
standing on the edge
Just when you
think no one's looking
I see you pick your wedge
7/29/1998 - Pierce Pettis at Club Passim
Why do I rehearse disappointment?
When all signs are pointing toward
being forgotten
or left out
I prepare myself for the blow
no phone call
a gut punch
I've felt the earth shake
and I've seen the breeze blow
I've savored so many of the world's delights
The world's best cinnamon bun
praline feuilletine
beef bourguignon
a rain dripped raspberry with the smell of mint
crushing under my feet
And yet
I'm watching the tip burn down
closer and closer to the end of the cigarette
When your music entered my life
I was thirteen years old
I was a woman
when your music entered my soul
And like a thread knotted and sewn
from then until now
you've been there
through the breakups
and breakdowns
as dependable as the changing of the seasons
And guiding me forward
toward the twilight sky
