FREE, BODY AND SOUL FREE

I'm a recovering codependent
Someone who used to make herself so available to others
that it crowded out everything else

Now I'm creating healthy boundaries
while at the same time
walls are falling down around me

I'm cresting the hill and the sky is an expanse
and my heart is enlarging along with it

Freedom is better than sex

STEALING STARBUCKS

sometimes free moments just
fall into your lap
that meeting gets cancelled
something you scheduled doesn’t take as long as you thought it would

and you say to yourself
I have a free hour!
What am I gonna do?

Watch TV
Take a nap
Read a book
or go to Starbucks and splurge
on a Caramel Apple Cider
with whipped cream.

And write this.

WORDS OF ADVICE FOR A YELLOW FINCH

As I passed my bay window
I noticed a female finch
feeding at the cylinder outside
or was it a male?
(even a Google search has not made me certain as September approaches)

Birds are rare at our feeder
as our home's proximity to a busy street
often makes our food less palatable
than the seeds in my brother's back yard

So I stopped and watched
as she/he chirped and chomped

Suddenly, I realized that I, too was chomping:
absent mindedly shortening a banana

For a moment, bird and beast were one
and she seemed to size me up in that moment

I stood still
so as not to startle her
and then became aware of her tasting and twittering

You know, you shouldn't talk with your mouth full

FADING FAST

Life feels so permanent
Until
People start to pass from sight
Like the faces that fade
In that Back to the Future photograph

And suddenly
You walk past a family picture
And realize that everyone in it is gone

At the time
They may have had their whole lives before them
With hopes and worries for the future
And the I'll always be here feeling

Or the snapshot was taken
Later in life
As the golden glow of retirement warmed
And that italicized feeling had worn off

But now
Their faces are on Mass cards
Tucked into the corners of picture frames
And fading fast

IN MY CELL

My stone walls
are bare and mouldy
my bedstead cold
my mattress lumpy

the damp hangs like the crucifix on the wall
its sharp edges difficult to embrace

but the the orb of light
and sensuous curve of my lampstand
remind me of warmer climes and the arc of life
the ornate sconce on the wall of Hindu temples and Taj Majals
and crawling vines that show me the way out

SO

There are times when God
so proves Himself
that He bests
the daily masturbations of life

There are times when God
so makes Himself present
that His very presence fills you
like nothing else can

There are times when God
seems to select each song on your playlist
so you feel as if He is singing along

And He is

THE PAPA HOUSE

You wouldn't think that a carriage house
set back from the road
would draw so many wanderers in;
such an estate was designed
to be admired from afar:
the driveway long enough to intimidate
and KEEP strangers OUT

But its occupants' arms were far more pliant
than the folded stone arms of Tatiana;
with such a reach to draw in those
that needed a home:
a cup of coffee or a meal in the kitchen

And just as a garden nourishes a variety of plants,
this menagerie flowered with diversity--
from the domestic to the exotic--
and transplants flourished beside native species

The cross-pollenation fed souls while laughter lightened loads
and the warm conversation intermingled with the smell of spices
and pancakes
and the smoke of a hookah pipe

ANNE OF THE BIG BARN

She sits by the glazing in the big red barn
Soaking up the angling sun

The first pane flickers with promise
The second with cells on a microscope slide
The rays shine through painted swirls of color
And the muted nose prints of children

In the spot where she dreamt
And got engaged
There is still room for new memories, new dreams

And a life beyond the farm

2017